3 1/2 Ways to Holiday Proof Your Relationship



3 ½ Ways to Holiday Proof Your Relationship

By Josh Tolley

The Holiday season is near and what should be a joyful time of faith, family, friends, and happiness is, sadly often not.

Depression, suicide, divorce, and family strain are actually at their highest levels during Thanksgiving and New Years.  The single largest cause of these traumatic hard times is financial shortfalls. That issue in and of itself deserves serious discussion.  Money is not the only cause and regardless of the reason, there are 3 1/2 things we can all do in order to Holiday proof our relationships.

1.       Maintain Time Together


The most valuable asset we have is time and it is at the foundation of all relationships, even the long distance ones. The Holidays seem to demand we give our time to many other people and activities, and while these other time investments may be worth it, it means we need to set aside time to devote to our mate.  Set aside time for cocoa and an old movie, take a walk around your neighborhood to see the Christmas lights, or if you are at a distance, take the time and eliminate other distractions and talk.  This will fill the cold empty moments of the Holidays with that most special someone.


2.       Prioritize


Outside your faith, the most important person in your life is your partner. Don’t forsake that focus under the stress of the season. Days once filled with daydreaming of your lover are now filled with shopping lists, travel plans, or directing that church pageant. To counteract these mental energy pitfalls, make a point to flirt every day. Send a cute little text message, pinch his/her booty on the way through the kitchen, or maybe bake some cookies to send along in order to  keep the other one thinking about you during their day. Don’t just focus on what you do to flirt on a daily basis but also make a point to think about him/her while you are engaged in your Holiday adventures. “Would she like this song?” “Would he like to go on a date this Friday?”  By keeping your dear one on your mind it will keep the fire alive, while the fire may be a little dimmer for a couple months, flirting will create a desire as well as let the other one know they are still the most import person to you.


3.       Give Together


Anyone who has given anything to anyone has experienced firsthand the old adage “It is better to give than to receive.” When you give a gift, money, or even time, you feel a deep fulfillment and sense of warmth. Experiencing those feelings with the one you love will create not only a deep and bonding adventure but also wonderful memories that can be relives for the for rest of your life. Can you remember what you bought your wife/husband for Christmas 7 years ago? Of course not, but you will always remember the time the two of you helped give out gifts in the burn ward at the children’s hospital. So take initiative to ring a bell for the Salvation Army, work a soup kitchen, or volunteer at a local homeless shelter.  There are millions of ways to give and when it’s done together it will intensify the closeness the two of you have.

½.   Do your Part

You are only half of a couple. You can only control your life and what you do with it. Don’t wait for your better half to make the first move to Holiday proof your relationship, take initiative. Make plans and suggestions while you wait for him/her to finish this article.  Show that these things are important to you and a fun way to keep the Holidays fun.  Most importantly don’t give up.  It is a great thing to start, but even a better thing to finish strong. When you follow this guide with all your heart, you will have a deep, rich, and rewarding Holiday season with the one you are most thankful for.


Josh Tolley is a business and behavioral strategist.  His latest book, “Quit Your Job or Die: Discover the Importance of Self-Employment” has been a top ten best seller for over 12 weeks.  His teachings have been implemented by hundreds of people and dozens of businesses around the globe. He is ranked as one of the top 100 business and personal growth trainers in the world and the developer of many human interaction technologies.  To book Josh for a seminar in your area contact Liz McNeil with Insights Management at (213) 293-6616


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